How to live with a threenager

We were very lucky and escaped the terrible twos.
However the threenager stage has hit us hard in our household!
Almost overnight, my gorgeous little boy turned into a little demon.

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He still has moments where he is my gorgeous boy but mostly his behaviour is totally ghastly.
So here is how to live with a threenager , in 7 easy steps.

1.Drink.
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Invest in gin – or vodka, wine, beer, cider etc. Really booze of any kinds, and of course, im recognition that there are some tea-totallers out there substitute with chocolate or any alternative that will numb the trauma. WARNING – drink and eat responsibly – weight watchers can be expensive – although it may mean an extra break from the kids, so probably worth it 😉

2. Shopping.

Avoid shopping trips with your little whinger – at ANY COST! We have a number of shops we no longer use, either due to embarrassing meltdown or just because we want to avoid embarrassing meltdown – Smyths Toy Superstore and due to location (next to Smyths) Dunelm Mill, Carpetright, Curry’s and Halfords, Sainsburys, Tesco and other similar supermarkets, list goes on…I mean, you may go hungry at times, but think of the money you are saving!

3. Bribery.

Always have plenty of bribery available. However be warned you may possess a smart kid who double bluffs you and rejects any bribery. Stay on your toes, have different alternative bribes available.

4. Earplugs.wpid-2015-01-01-13.19.37.jpg.jpeg

Just in case atrocious 3 year old begins a surprise mega meltdown, keep your earplugs to hand at all times. Pop them in and any screaming is immediately minimised. La lala la lala la la!

5. Strepsils.

For those days where raising your voice at the monster seems to be a regular occurence, strepsils can help to soothe the scratchy throat it causes.

6. Use those savings.

If you have managed to save up any (read “humungous amounts of”) money from number 2 (unlikely) , and not wasted it on 1 or 3, then another option is boarding school. They take children as young as 2 1/2 (we have researched it)!!!

7. So if the drink, earplugs, and bribery don’t work, keep your passport up to date and you can always run away.

Stay safe and good luck with your challenging three year old…
Hopefully it will end at some point…I hope…please!!

🙂

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